SMILES OF SADNESS?

   Just a quick recap okay? for my laptop is not around due to an annoying reason. Today, Our kill joy teacher, "Hot Mama" had a quiz to us on a "No classes" day. urgh! so badtrip ako noong nalaman ko yon kagabi. Tapos today pa rin, Our school has done some "ANTI-DRUG" campaign sponsored by the most avoidable group in the school, TBPY. A very noticeable behavior of students that shown inside the campus is that "they are not interested" *laughs* but so true.. so are we. We've got out of gymnasium an hour ago for boredom destroys us. haha boring nya chever! Ninay, Mariz, Krsna, Jessa and other GFs of them along with me (ofcourse) went to Waltermart, Tanauan. May tampururot chever pa nga sila kanina. Super inip sa pag-iintay eh. We've got home so early naman today. Wanna finish that f*cking project! errr.. BTW, we have bought a buko shake in a new stall there in walter, grabe! super duper heaven! Best buko shake I've ever tasted! I got more than what I paid for *LOL* I wanna share it to you, it is so called the "Buko Express" walaaa! The best! Looking forward to taste another one :)

  There's more! There was a soooo creepy story I have read last wednesday. I really am not fond of Bob Ong's reading materials, not his fan also. When my best friend Jessa asked to read one, she borrowed the book "Ang mga kaibigan ni Mama Susan" -latest book of Ong, from Kathleen. She said it was so scary. Then, I took the dare to read it too! shiiits! it was so creepy! with the sumpa-thing! katakot eh! I can't sleep when I finished reading it. Grabe si Bob Ong, I kinda like him na *laughs* 

Tungkol pala doon kay someone na itago natin sa name na "Dayang-Dayang".. Uhm May great impact sya sa akin. I'm so sad about it.. Don't know what I want to happen between us and them :( JEALOUSY????? no! f***!!

CALAMBA CITY!

  Okay, I won't sleep until I don't give a moment to post my fun story here at blogspot. So, how do I do? haha Let's start last morning wake ups. I bet gravity has been so heavy today for I couldn't get up easily. So what do you think will happen? Oo, late kami sa klase. They already had their recitations and we were not there. Too bad for us. Pero hayaan na namin, next meeting sana pagbigyan pa kami mag-recite! *laughs* lagi kasing absent yung prof namin doon eh, ayan tuloy kinareer na namin yung pagka-late namin na first time ko ginawa! haha Maaga din naman kami na-dismiss today. Past few days, Ninay invited us to go with them in SM Calamba at syempre go kami dyan! I know naman, alam nila gala kaming dalawa ni jessa! lol. We also invited them to watch the Thai movie (I'm not sure kung Thai movie nga, basta yon na. hehe) The horror movie, 4bia. Eh sabi naman nila, waley daw silang adjet as of now kaya kung pwede daw next week nalang. Hindi ko rin naman alam kung may pera pa ko noon *laughs* I also noticed that they are somewhat scared to watch it, so I guess pass muna nga today. I think we've gone to SM calamba around 1pm. Ang dami nga naming magkakasama doon eh, puro BSent 1-1. Sa jeep pa lang, laughtrip na agad. hehe So happy to bond with them. Okay, 1pm na pero hindi pa rin kami nakaen. I knew it, for sure we were so hungry that moment. Hindi agad kami makakaen, puno kasi ang mga fast food chains. 

We just decided to take out some meals at KFC and I bet the boys, at Mcdonald's. Sa foodcourt kami nakahanap ng place na lahat ay makakakaen ng sabay-sabay. We ate there and were informed by Ninay na Self-service na pala ang linis doon. So arte ha? hayan, edi kami rin ang naglinis ng mga kalat namin doon. hehe Ang SM talaga ay going green ngayon ha? may parang "Claygo" (Clean as you go) na rin sila, gaya ng isang system sa STA :) I remember pa, sobrang kulit noong katabi ko kanina sa pagkaen eh, si Mariz! Uber sa Laughtrip, nangungurot pa. hehe Hayan tuloy kakulitan, hindi naubos yung food. Sayang eh.. tapos hetong si Sweetie ko, si Jessa, Inupakan na yung chocolate mousse ko! *LOL* pero ok lang, hindi ko rin naman mauubos yon lahat. After we had eaten, We played games and arcades there in Tom's world! kakaloka. Ang dami nilang ticket na nakolekta. Samantalang kami ni BFF, naglalaro lang. haha Pinagpalit ni Ninay yung ticket with I think, 5 angry birds pens, pencil and bracelets. She gave me one of those angry birds pens at masaya na ako doon *giggles* We've also gone to Nat'l bookstore, read some books. Then, ice cream trip and so forth..

  Around 3 o'clock, nag-aya si Ninay sa house nila, dito lang malapit sa SM calamba. So Jessa and I were still energetic that time and did not hesitate to come. Yung iba naming kasama, umuwi na kasama yung lahat ng boys. 6 na lang ata kaming pumunta kina Ninay eh. Okay lang naman sa amin yon, makagala naman dito sa Laguna. We rode on a jeepney and tricycle. The tricycle driver somewhat has been our tourist guide on our way to Brgy. La mesa (Ninay's house) while viewing the wonderful place there in Calamba, Laguna. Ang ganda ng Municipal office nila ha? Pati yung kinda Rizal park doon. hehe Waley ang Sto. Tomas eh *ROFL* When we got there in the house, we just sat by, surfed the net and took a rest. Jessa, Mariz, Eloi and I had some awkward-funny moment together when they used to play the song "Dayang-Dayang" there in Ninay's house. So much *LOLs* happened to us! The song really made me sick, it was annoying! with its Ilokano Language and weird melody. haha Kakatawa talaga eh! I coudn't forget that! *eksdi* 

Then, we watched some guitar tutorials of "Jorell" I think? - Mariz' cousin. He's cool haha together with Sungha Jung's covers and Sungha's girl version, Sandra Bae. Ninay bought us two pizzas, pa-merienda syempre hehe I refused to eat one, not that I don't like it but you know naman, I'm conscious of calories. *LOL* I've eaten to much that afternoon and I think that was enough *laughs* 

Grabe si Eileen! haha

After noon, pumunta kami doon sa park na may monument ni Rizal and had some wacky-funny-crazy moments together. With the jumpshots - especially yung kay Eileen haha and Wacky stuffs! They really had a good time and so do I. Sobrang babait nila, swear! They are unlike my High school friends, they are not Bullies. They respect each other still, tease each other but with care and sweetness naman. Sana maulit muli ang bondings na ito and I know It will.. May swimming pa naman, I'm looking forward to it! sweets! :) Mga 7pm na ata ako nakauwi, napansin ko, nalagas ang pera ko sa layo ng pinuntahan namin hehe Pero ayos lang naman diba? atleast I had fun with my new friends. Mas masarap pa rin talaga ang may barkada. hehe Okay, that ends.... :)

I'm not jealous, I just want you to give me more time and focus. I just want to catch your attention! I don't like seeing you texting while I'm there next to you. Shame on me. I feel disrespect and pity on myself :(

AIN'T ENOUGH?

   Do you know the feeling of really wanting to write something yet afraid of self-emotions to burst out? I'm into that feeling, kind of.. so tell me, how can I write better if I'm suppressing my emotions? Urgh.. Shut the crap up! I just don't wanna be bothered by this time. so.. okay, I guess two weeks rin akong hindi nakapagpost dito sa blog ko. Akala mo siguro kung ano nang nagyari sa akin noh? alarming kasi yung last post ko. Uhm, so many great and not-so-great moments happened during the time I was away (in front of my laptop. *LOL*) About my health, I'm gratefully okay. Balanced diet lang dapat. I still have lots of school works to do and I'm somehow planning to start it most likely, this weekends. Btw, ang dami talagang nangyari two weeks ago. Let me enumerate them first, The Bulgar selections of Sir Cabrera, then Final destination 5 cinema trip, The PUP Idol season 8 - My former classmate was the grand winner, Compliment of Sir Henry about me - good scores in Biosci (flattered!), The Annoying SIS - almost wanna kill the admins, Postponed cinema trip part 2 and lastly, Our quarrel! well.. I don't wanna discuss them anymore. They won't make me happy though. As of now, I'm just really upset. Kung pwede ko lang talaga sabihin lahat-lahat ng naiisip ko.. There are just thoughts and words that are better left unsaid I guess. Siguro kung homework itong post ko ngayon dito sa blog, for sure ife-failed ako ng english prof ko. Know why? hindi ko kasi alam ang topic sentence ko eh saka hindi ko rin ma-determine kung ano ang gist ng writing ko. All I know, My life is complicated (oh, lumayo na naman ako. ayy go with the flow nalang po *laughs*) I don't seem to have the "freedom" I used to have when I was still single and not committed. I don't know if we are just in an open relationship, a fling, a mutual understanding or simply just in a friendship. Frankly speaking, everything is irrational.. I don't know if our love is enough to keep us forever. Promises are made but how sure am I that the two of us can stay longer? What is the commitment? the security? the assurance of "only me"? sa sobrang hirap, madalas ko maisip na "magtransfer nalang kaya ako ng school?" not near Sto. Tomas. "How if I fulfill the will of my father to shift in an engineering course?" If I do so, I'm pretty sure hindi sa PUP. Ayaw ko naman ng engineering course, field of medicine talaga ang gusto ko - Dentistry and the like. Oh basta hindi naman sa course ang topic.. so, ayon nga I wanna feel a sense of independence.. I wanna do everything I want. I don't wanna waste my time. Pero kahit ano pang daydream ang gawin ko, I know in myself, I wouldn't be happy. I may be fulfilled but never happy. I know, deep in my heart sa kanya pa rin ako sasaya. No matter how wrong the two of us may be, I will never be happy.. never, kung wala sya. I just don't wanna be contained, I don't wanna be restrained. For instance, my parents, who are constantly reprimanding my decisions and interests. They don't believe in me, I knew it. hmm.. So yung sa aming dalawa, mahirap. Irrevocable lahat ng statement na nasabi ko patungkol sa kanya. I'm upset, really do. Knowing that I offered my life for the two of us. Kaya ngayon, hindi ko na kaya ng wala sya. You know, I've just always wanted to be contented, worry-free and happy. Just like the children frolicking everywhere and lounging around. I wanna take the venture of this dare. Whatever happens, I know Mahal ko siya. And whatever paths we are taking now, its all beyond our control and desire.

sigh!

    Padaan lang sandali ha? I'm not feeling well.. so many things bother me. Ang dami talaga! Hindi ko naman sila kino-consider na problem kasi ayoko problemahin yung mga bagay na sakit sa ulo pero still, bothered pa rin ako. So, may pinagka-iba ba? Ngayong mga oras na ito, nag-aaway kami. Ang dami ko pang projects/homeworks na kailangang gawin. Hindi ko sya pino-problema dahil sa rush ang submission dates, dahil yun sa hindi ko alam kung saan ko ba kukunin yung mga sagot don. Medyo mahirap kasi.. tapos ito pa, parang nagkakaroon ako ng complication sa health ko. Natatakot nga ako eh, kagabi lang umiiyak ako sa pag-aalala sa kalusugan ko. Ang weird eh, I seem to look normal but something's wrong inside of me. Sana kung ano mang kawirduhan itong sakit na tumama sa akin ay gumaling na agad. Haayyy.. I'm so upset :'(

I don't feel like doing anything.

     Supposedly nagawa na ako ngayon ng explanation sa report ko regarding The Human Nervous System but lazily, mamaya ko nalang sya gagawin. oh btw, funny to say, pero diet na ako ngayon. haha binabawasan ko na ang kain ko and oftentimes more likely not to eat rice. Sometimes, I feel so weak, dizzy atsaka wala sa focus. Ewan ko ba pero hindi na ako sanay kumain ng marami. Get rid of that extra-calories! *LOL* Well, i'm just doing good. Just had some reportings na nakakainis. Last thursday kasi, group na namin yung magre-report sa enma. I thought I had a big part na bias on my side. Naalala ko pa, the night before that day, naiiyak na ko kasi hindi ko alam ang gagawin kong explanation, nanlalambot ako noong mga time na yon eh and kinda felt sick. On the reporting day, aba ako na ang reporter tapos sabi ni ma'am skip na daw yung part ko. I didn't know if I would be glad or mad! I remember my feeling during that time. I've got so nerve. I drank too much water because I felt my mouth was starting to dry and never thought it could dry that much after I discussed my first topic. Pero yun nga, bago pa man ako maubusan ng water supply sa katawan, yung remaining topics ko ini-skip na! urgh kaya pala sabi ko parang ang layo na ng report ko sa entrepreneurship! hayy.. sana naman sinabi na agad ni ma'am para hindi na ako nakapag-prepare pa. Sayang lang eh. About hardware at software kasi yun eh, ang layo na sa business stuff dba? Well.. okay lang yun, kasi graded as a group naman kami. uhmm tama na! I've already moved on. haha Good luck nalang sa report ko sa biosci! I'm the leader of the group kaya ako ang nag-research lahat. oww kapagod nga. Feeling ko, subconcious ako ngayon? haha okay.. so long 'cause I'm so tired.